A Balancing Act

As I have said time and again, I don't take loses too well. As usual, it seems some omnipotent presence is hearing me say this. For its own twisted enjoyment, someone is taken from me. Each and every time it happens, it is as though I've died a little inside myself.

It's for this reason that I became a doctor; if I could keep others from feeling this pain by saving their loved ones, I'd do my damned best. But it's never, never enough. You can't save them all, and you never will. Powered by all that knowledge and science, we are pathetic in even thinking we can stop God's will. And by God's will...I've lost my child.

The very reason for me working at Ashagi, even more important than finishing my parents' work, was my baby. I didn't want to blame it for being born so I decided to make a better life before it even got here. I was later told that it would have been a boy. A beautiful little boy would have been nice, but it was not meant to be in the end.

In that same week, I suffered another loss. Adagio, one of the first people to really accept me fully with all my flaws and skills, was gunned down in Levi. When I heard the news, I swore I was cursed. First my lover, then my child, and all after she had proposed to me. Honestly, I thought I had hit the lowest point of my life.

But then, this would be an uneven scale, wouldn't it?