Primal Shout

I don't show my angry side often. It's always been an internal emotion, hardly admitted around others. Even rarer is my natural instinct. It remained an even more suppressed sensation than showing rage.

I constantly remind myself I was born human, that these growls and insatiable desires are nothing more than something to be contained. They aren't there, I tell myself.

A human does not make sounds like that.
A human does not track scents like this.
A human does not give in to beastly thoughts of marking their mate.

You haven't marked Adagio yet actually.

She trusts your enough to share her journal with you.

You will be bearing young with her too.

Why the hell haven't you marked her yet?

Don't even start.
Today I learned how free I could feel interacting with another panther hybrid. I've always felt these thoughts and known what certain signals and scents translated to regarding the animal my DNA was merged with. I'm fluent in the dialect of that species and can easily converse with like-bred hybrids, even the actual big cat.

It started yesterday. I agreed to meet Adagio for a meal at Madre's. Both of us had been working long hours and it had been agonizing not being able to hug or kiss her while at work. Adagio's been rehired as a lab assistant in Ashagi a.k.a. my wife's now my subordinate. We had not even gotten a chance to order when my phone went off.

Yvonne, a new female fox hybrid, had suddenly collapsed. It was a difficult thing for me to tell Adagio I had to go to the den, but I knew the other medics were either injured, away, or still in training. If it was something serious, Yvonne needed professional aid. Just as I kissed Adagio good bye, Rico sends a disrespectful message over the Pack feeds, annoyed that no one "cared" that Yvonne needed help.

I snapped and stormed for the Den. After giving him a good cursing out, Mitka and I tended to Yvonne. A flu bug, easily treated with herbs and rest. That's all. That should have settled it. Another family member saved. Leaving Adagio abruptly was not for nothing, and better yet, I was able to get home a few hours later to save dinner from my wife's...capable hands.

Problem solved...right?

Test of Faith

What a weekend. Between two company meetings, a wedding, and a unheard of gathering on the Den's roof, I believe I'm forever changed.

It started with Mitka's wedding to wife Ashley.

Syle's daughter, like most of the younglings in Midian, has grown up so fast...literally. She's now 18 and expecting her first child. A girl she insists will be named Claire. Mitka asked me to be her Maid of Honor for the wedding ceremony, and I couldn't be happier.

Just as with my wedding, The Pack came out in gorgeous formal dress for the ceremony in the theatre.

A short and sweet exchange of vows proceeded then we moved to the Twilight Zone club for the reception. Along the way, I thought about all the weddings being planned or those that had been. Mostly same sex, both female couples with not one ceremony held within the church's walls. The restriction's forced a lot of people to get creative within the city.

I wish them all the best in their future.

I've always been faithful to the Word of the Lord. I've always known that there are other things that God alone could not explain. That's what being a part of the Pack opened my eyes to.

I've seen and been a part of love I doubt I'd be able to explain. I've gained a new found confidence in my work. I've become very emotionally tied to the people and creatures of the Pack family. I may have my own business with working in the city, but my roots and ideals always lead back to the ruins that chose to take me in first.

It's never a strange thought to believe that there are greater things in the remnants of the ruins, and Ayr is amongst one the most finely tuned to them. He's always said things like how we should announce and give a howl of rejoice when a new member joined our family; or listen to the land in times of distress or calm for counsel. That's what this was - Counsel.

The Learning Curve

Knowledge is weird.
Is it a curious thing to learn more about your spouse than you knew before the wedding?
Is it wrong to keep certain things from each other?

I know the relationship will progress as we go along, but lately there's been a lot of new experiences for both of us. First thing we learned? How to be a married couple in the eyes of the church. This week's Mass was a mess of unreadable glares from the Father and his expectant wife. I didn't particularly care if Father Eamon looked down on Adagio and myself, but as long as he took no stabs at us, I intended to do the same.

He seemed distinctly upset with us when we asked him to marry us in church, but I stand by my initial words and thoughts. If the man was willing to see our relationship as something honest and go as far as to suggest a blessing of the union, why is marrying us such an impossible thing? It's hypocrisy, but I'm not holding that to the church, just Father Eamon.

The wonders of parenthood are also a new phase for us. Fluffy's adopted daughter, Arwen, is currently in my care. She's four years old, very smart, and a bit of a mini terror when her curiosity takes over. As Elliena's eldest daughter, she's a tiger hybrid.

Unlike her mother,

Arwen's fully prepared to fight when backed in a corner...maybe a little too ready.

I think that's a welcomed change if it can be controlled. She could prove to be a fine adult later in life.