Feral Management

I don't like being in heat.
Really...why did Dr. Foster and the other scientists merge me with cat DNA?
If I catch myself suddenly howling again, I'll....

Hehehe

Ya know...
this would all go much smoother if you got pregnant.

Ah yes but you know that already, don't you?

Taunting me helps the situation how?

Yes, I know the symptoms will go away once I'm pregnant, but it's like my body's become impatient. Stupid little things trigger wild temperaments and irrational thoughts. I get upset when I catch anyone else's scent on Adagio for crap's sake. It's not just a mild jealousy either, but an outright desire to remove it and the person dumb enough to touch her.

What's wrong with that?

Protect your mate.

My mate works as a liason. She meets and interacts with several people daily as part of her job. Nothing romantic behind it. I have no reason to be jealous.

...or is it?

Shut up. I'm starting to notice traces of this irrational thought in my daily actions. The other night I went to the mainland with Adagio to meet a new hire to the ASF as well as watch them spar. I know, violent mindset and I go to watch someone else fight with my wife? That make any sense?

The fight went well. Leliana is no pushover to combat. In fact, I'd say she's a little too good. Either that or Adagio's starting to lack in her fighting skills. The spar came to a close when Adagio's ankle gave out.

I've known for a while now that her joints were under terrible pressure, and with the way Adagio seems to be aging, her external body does not match the internal framework. Her body's insides are older than she looks for a thirty year old. It took her up to the point of injury to tell me this to my face when in truth it was nothing new. Only Dr. Parkin would know how to properly treat her.

I found myself being angry at Leliana, though I didn't show most of it while tending to Adagio that night. Injuries may happen in a spar; it's better they be inflicted in a friendly match than out on the field where an opponent might not be so remorseful. At least I have an outlet for all this anger.

Reading keeps me calm. Between the library and Ashagi's vast range of writings and files on internal scientific progress, I'm perfectly occupied. Of course in a city like this, one won't find much quiet time for leisure reading. I still have a daughter to protect.

In essence, Arwen's the reason I want to curb this angry streak of mine. I'm her mother now, and it's my job to train and teach her how to be a proper hybrid female. Unfortunately, Arwen's got an independent mindset in her thanks to the tiger DNA. Doesn't help that the other pups around her offer a bad influence as well. She needs to learn how and when to pick her fights instead of attacking everything that threatens her.

For the past few days, Mitka had been attacked by a female called Evie. A past acquaintance according to her that had gone more than mad recently. Evie's gone after Mitka and her daughter Claire, in each instance claiming it to be "playtime." Yesterday after work, I had to unfortunate pleasure of running into Evie.

Arwen was supposed to be at the sushi bar with Sister D, but it appeared through some series of events, she and Claire got attacked by this woman. The confrontation got them as far as the warehouse rooftops and catwalks just outside of Ashagi's doors. The second I heard Arwen's voice above me, I jumped up to the catwalks in hopes of sneaking up of the fuss. First thing I see is Arwen hanging on to the woman's weapon...only to be punched hard afterwards.

That did it.

I snapped.

I wanted nothing more than to slice the bitch into cubes for daring to raise a hand to Arwen.

Came pretty close to beheading her too.

Why didn't you?

I wasn't showing mercy if that's what you're about to suggest. With Claire and Arwen there, I didn't want more pain to be inflicted on them. Arwen's gotten upset once from seeing me fight, and I've never forgotten it. I landed a few good slashes into Evie, but I made a critical error - I forgot she had pistols on her.

Got one bullet clean through my lower right calf and another grazed on the left side of it. I was careless, but I didn't care. If anything, getting shot just made me want to kill Evie more. I probably would have if Damien hadn't stopped me. Still mad at him for that, but he made a good point. Right now Arwen needed me more than Evie needed to be killed. I had forgotten to pick my battles. Evie wasn't going anywhere after being shot at and carved into, but it wasn't enough for me. I wanted her dead, by my hands if at all possible.

Only when we got back to the den did my rational thought return.

I can't go running wildly into fights like last night, not when I'm a parent now. I'll soon be an expectant parent at that. Charging into gun and knife fights when I know I need to carry a child...what was I thinking? Smashing that psychotic Evie's face in wouldn't be anywhere near worth it if I ended up bleeding to death. 

At the same time, wasn't that anger just?

Evie attacked your kin, your child.

Is it so wrong for a mother to be mad then?

Is the desire to harm the attacker that irrational in your eyes?

No. It's not that. I don't think anyone would argue with me wanting to beat Evie's brains out for punching Arwen. I didn't know how to stop at the time; that's the problem. The Pack had arrived and taken the kids to safety, and I was still there trying to maul her with a bloody limp. How can I teach Arwen how to feel out her fights when I couldn't even keep myself in check?