Is it when they do something you view as wrong?
Is it when they say something that offends you?
Is it both?
I find myself wondering that at the end of the day. Ayr changed. He changed in a way none of us have seen him do before. A common thing for him to say was that he was far from nice or kind and I think a fragment of that other side was revealed.
It was a request. The Pack was to gather people and bring them to the circle he had made. I'd spent a good portion of the day chasing down another hybrid who had attacked one of our employees. Lana had been pursuing the rat hybrid the most, but that day I was available. All the nights of roaming the sewers paid off in a way and yet they didn't. It took us forever to track him and after all was said and done, we ended up taking a different rat hybrid altogether. That and we were covered in Midian's thick filth.
Thank god for Ashagi's sanitation procedures. The lab had to be scrubbed down several times just to clean the muck we tracked in. I left right after this upon getting a message from Ayr that the ritual was starting.
The first thing I saw should have sent off a warning bell. Fluffy was there and immediately denounced the ritual. The Pack had always done this, but with small animals. The blood of a mouse here, the sacrifice of a squirrel there. By the time I changed and returned to the circle, Fluffy was tried to wrestle a chainsaw from Ayr and a dead female laid upon the ground. Arwen and her new boss Ms. Garner were dragged into this as well.
Ayr certainly got into it. His words about feeling sensitive spiritually and physically to certain things had me wondering if maybe he'd gone too far. Not with the actions he was taking, but the bloodlust. It seemed like the more blood was spilled, the more the self he hid behind that mask so well was forgotten. The ruthless fox was left, and he wasted no time showing it.
Scary...
Scary...
Most of the Pack either fled or went to catch others, leaving myself and Fluffy to contend with Ayr.
It was not enough to kill the people for him. At one point he started to eat Emma's body and tear it apart.
It made Fluffy sick and yet, my stomach was fine.What does that say about me?
It was not until Brekka returned with the others that he relaxed. It's better to say he reverted. Suddenly he was sick to his stomach as well and grew repentant of what he'd ordered the Pack to do. It didn't change the fact we had blood on our hands now. He explained the reason why he believed the land required blood as a sort of rent from the Pack; if we pay, the land is ours to live on. Failure to do so brought the ruins' wrath. it was this wrath that the Pack needed to make amends for.
Then he left.
We were on our own with a heavy air over the ruins.
I don't think the weight hit me until Lunar and I attacked a young male in the morning.The Pack had captured a child the night prior and left her in a cage. Lunar and I figured we would find a suitable replacement so the child did not need to die. I don't think the plan was to kill her, but I had not idea what Ayr was capable of right now. We just took his blood and nothing else, but we took too much. The man died right there after passing out. I didn't admit it to Lunar.
Don't look at me.
It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
I gave the blood from the dead man and a vial of the little girl's blood to the ruins. I don't know if I did it right or not since I'm not on the same level as Ayr.
I made an alter for the lost and prayed for my family. Arwen hates me now that she knows Emma was a clone of her birth mother, and I fear her rage and anger from losing her mother returned ten fold. She was not supposed to find out like this, especially when she essentially lost her mother all over again after Emma killed herself. I can't help Arwen out of this one since she refuses my existence one instant then clings like a shadow the next.
Do I keep following a man that may be losing his sense?
Am I even qualified to judge the stability of another's mind?
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