Again and Again

I wonder if I deserve it. Is this God's way of telling me something?

After the rave on Saturday, I found myself being watched by a curious red eyed man. He introduced himself as Loki. We flirted for a while, even danced. I don't want to sound over confident, but I thought my judge of character was pretty spot on.

It wasn't spot on that night, now was it?

Shut up. Anyway Father, he later brought me under a decrepit building and we made out. I understand you would have probably preferred I'd wait until marriage, but let's just say my wings were plucked a long time ago. Next thing I know, I have a weird syringe jabbed into my neck and the guy's stabbing me with knives. The last thing I remember...I was on the ground trying to crawl away...he was sitting on top of me, carving onto my back with a knife.

I blacked out then, only to wake up on the beach, with Lily. In different clothes. I don't know how I got there.

We walked idiot.

How many time must I tell you to be quiet? Lily said we had walked to the beach, and it seems I'd been raped by someone named Chi...Mother, I am confused. An entire day past and I has no recollection of how it got to that point. I certainly feel the after effects of the attack, that is nothing new to me. However, I can't wrap my mind around the fact that I don't remember being forced upon at all. I don't know who placed these bandages on me. I don't now who dressed me. I..just don't understand.

You're pretty dense , aren't ya? You know exactly what wrong with us.

Shut up already!

I'm allowed free speech. I am just being honest, something you seem to lack.

You are annoying. Nothing more. Stop distracting me already!

I'd say you're distracted plenty enough.
What kind of person gets raped and shrugs it off?

I'm just accustomed to my body being used against my will.

I think you like it.

Nothing is wrong

I acknowledge that I am scared.
I acknowledge that something is wrong with my body.
There is nothing wrong with my mind.

Or so you keep saying.

It has been quite an up and down turn of events around here, starting with Fluffy's apparent return from the dead.


I admit I was relieved and angry all at once. To think she made us believe she was dead. I still don't know the reason, but all was forgiven over time.

I don't know how you did it, beloved parents of mine, but I have resolved myself to the fact I will not be a mother anytime soon. Watching over Ravie has become next to impossible. It's not that she is a terrible girl; it's that she finds trouble to the point of it being a talent. She doesn't know the meaning of "dangerous" or "caution" and repeatedly runs off into fights she ought not be anywhere near. To top things off, I am among the few when telling her to avoid conflicts.

The males in her life seem to enjoy spurring her on and even praising her violence. It's pointless for me to try to help or care for a child that blindly listens to what she feels like hearing at the moment. Even when her mistakes get her in grave danger...she doesn't learn...

...and you're tired of caring.

Worst yet, I recently learned one of them is her lost biological father. I should be happy for Draven, that he found his daughter, but I can't. I only fear what she will become under the not so watchful eyes of a man who seems to prioritize women over responsibilities.

No, that's wrong.

He did save us, and he is fiercely loyal to the Pack...

You are making excuses for him?

Her Fresh Start

:: Yes this is OOC information on my character. Treat it as such ::



Proudly joined to the Pack, a cluster of hybrids and humans with Apoc, Amara enjoys her time training and studying to become a proper medic, following in her parents' footsteps as doctors. She possesses a extensive amount of knowledge on medical procedures and is known to use makeshift equipment if necessary. She has no problem abusing her abilities as a doctor, utilizing a person's physical weaknesses to her advantage in a battle or just plain hurting them while she treats their injury.

Her manners have improved greatly, but she is very vocal when something upsets her. Grudges take some time to get out of her system. Amara normally shows respect, but only to those who return it, human, hybrid, or otherwise. Meet her with a shitty attitude and you are likely to receive a shitty attitude in return. She has little/no tolerance for disrespect. Other than that, she is a pretty friendly and fiercely loyal person.

The Definition of Fear

It has been one long week, beloved parents, and my journey in Midian has reached a turning point. I learned who was responsible for your wrongful passing.

Ashagi Research Laboratories.
The main company behind the one you were working at.

I also learned something about my own history- my unstable body was not a flaw at all. It was exactly what the lab wanted in their subjects. The potential for magic bullet type drugs and pharmaceuticals. I learned this truth in the worse of ways however. I was careless, and I can't believe I let it happen. I was caught.

One of the researchers made the link after seeing me eating in the sushi bar. I didn't think nothing of it at the time, but when the researcher approached me, she knew everything. Before I knew it, we were at arms with each other. But my overall fear got the better of me...