Again and Again

I wonder if I deserve it. Is this God's way of telling me something?

After the rave on Saturday, I found myself being watched by a curious red eyed man. He introduced himself as Loki. We flirted for a while, even danced. I don't want to sound over confident, but I thought my judge of character was pretty spot on.

It wasn't spot on that night, now was it?

Shut up. Anyway Father, he later brought me under a decrepit building and we made out. I understand you would have probably preferred I'd wait until marriage, but let's just say my wings were plucked a long time ago. Next thing I know, I have a weird syringe jabbed into my neck and the guy's stabbing me with knives. The last thing I remember...I was on the ground trying to crawl away...he was sitting on top of me, carving onto my back with a knife.

I blacked out then, only to wake up on the beach, with Lily. In different clothes. I don't know how I got there.

We walked idiot.

How many time must I tell you to be quiet? Lily said we had walked to the beach, and it seems I'd been raped by someone named Chi...Mother, I am confused. An entire day past and I has no recollection of how it got to that point. I certainly feel the after effects of the attack, that is nothing new to me. However, I can't wrap my mind around the fact that I don't remember being forced upon at all. I don't know who placed these bandages on me. I don't now who dressed me. I..just don't understand.

You're pretty dense , aren't ya? You know exactly what wrong with us.

Shut up already!

I'm allowed free speech. I am just being honest, something you seem to lack.

You are annoying. Nothing more. Stop distracting me already!

I'd say you're distracted plenty enough.
What kind of person gets raped and shrugs it off?

I'm just accustomed to my body being used against my will.

I think you like it.