Carnival Round

After taking Dr. Santereau's advice of staying within the den rather than going home or to Ashagi as often, I've found myself comfortably back in the ritual of serving as Pack medic and juggler. I say juggler due to the fact I tend to be handling more than one thing at a given time.

There's a new plant in the ruins. I'm thinking of calling it the Ashclaw or something since it has no proper classification. An impossible flower with luminescent purple petals growing in the destroyed soil of the ruins. Granted this concerned Ayr for two reasons.

1) The last time something grew in the ruins, it took a good chunk of Pack fighting power to eradicate what is now known simply as the "pumpkins."

2) If City Hall catches wind that the land is in anyway fertile, they will drive the Pack from it. Their belief that the land is dangerous and useless to them is the only thing allowing the Pack to live freely on "undesirable soil."

I made some anesthesia-like serums from the plants. They seem to safe to consume, although I had not planned on that at first. Shiro took it upon himself to show me that - he walked in while I was showing the bottles to Ayr, grabbed one, and downed the whole thing. I made sure the idiot threw it up before he fell to any poisoning, but he seemed to recover well.

New pup Kestal learned the pace of the Pack in the worst way...

Actually several previously missing in action Pack members have since returned besides Shiro. Jayde is back, as are Rico and Gage. I'm trying to seem composed considering a few of these people are the ones that helped shape me in to the person I am now.

Late night meeting over tea and coffee

I've made some progresses for Ashagi as well, namely working closely with Hector Mendle, an accomplished attorney and Blackstar agent in Midian. Currently, he's our point of contact for Oceanic Imports shipments while Ms. Xue's out, but I'm more interested in his...methods. Formerly the husband of Allura, one of our ASF agents, my initial introduction to Hector was through Lana. She and Allura had been butting heads after the man had been hired to attack some hybrid. Never learned exactly what happened however it was clear Hector was more than some white collar. Being of the mainland, he shares some typical mindsets as far as his view of hybrids. He seemed willing to tolerate Allura's accidental transformation, but in the end, perhaps not?

In less lighter news, Kairi's gone missing. Ashagi's power went out suddenly last Friday, including the backup generator; oh and Adagio's been repaired. Lovely. Can you see me juggling or should I balance myself on a giant ball while I'm at it? 

This is what I meant. There's too much going on in my life that after a while I just can't hold it in anymore. That's what happened with Adagio. She insisted on trying to kiss me, which would have been fine if we weren't currently in a blacked out lab with no clue as to why it happened. At one point she suggested that while she didn't want to "force" herself on her wife, I'd have to touch her at some point. I just flipped. I pulled a knife on her and threatened for her to tell me where our son was. Again she insisted that she had no idea, but her face was showing no remorse. Either Adagio's forgotten how to care or she's resolved that there's no use wondering about him, but I hated her more after this. She's not the woman I fell in love with; that much is clear.

I think my stressed emotions were starting to show or at least leak to those around me. Namely Ayr. Lately, he's been taking an interest in asking how I was doing or if I was well. It's made me uneasy. I hate troubling others, but the fact he's kept asking about me or how I handling Donatien's kidnapping makes me wonder -was it showing that much?

I'm supposed to be focusing on work and family, nothing else. What happens to me should not matter, but I always seem to let it matter to some degree. I live and seem most at ease in the caverns of a radioactive wasteland but I never let myself smell like it. The scent of the den is very faint on me, so much so that most Pack members who've never seen me before assume I'm an intruder unless I'm close enough. I work for a major corporation but I make sure the Pack badge never leaves my tails. Only time it has been removed is when I'm at a formal function. No matter who I'm meeting on behalf of Ashagi, it's always clear who my family and to whom my loyalties truly lie.

Maybe...that's the problem?
Am I too strongly tied to these conflicting groups? A safe haven for discarded hybrids from all walks of life. A facility where only results and innovations to better life are the goal no matter what. Why do I care so much for these groups? My parents' work can be completed through Ashagi, and I have a family that trusts me. Those are the easier reasons to state. The truth however is that no matter how much blood stains my hands, both these groups trust me.