The Keeper

In recent weeks, Adagio and I have taken on a strange task - we are keeping a female hybrid at our home and aiding in her rehabilitation from drug abuse and addiction. Due to the extreme nature of her addiction however, we've been made to take drastic actions. For example, she wears a collar which not only serves as a tracker and shocker when she's unruly; it's also linked to an invisible fence covering the door and windows. She can't technically leave the apartment.

It's strange having a hybrid in the apartment that's more or less dependent on us to tend to her, especially since she didn't ask for it. A former experiment  forcing another former experiment to quit drugs use under extreme pressure. I could almost chuckle. It took a few long discussions with Adagio to sort out exactly what may happen.

More than one weird thing has occurred now that I think about it. The catwalkers are on their hissy fit cycle again, swearing up and down to shoot first and shoot again at anything near their "territory." The actual den of the catwalkers in technically the roof of the same building Ashagi is based in. They've extended this to include the catwalks weaving around the city and it seems like every roof and ledge in Midian is suddenly theirs... despite the fact other hybrids are perfectly capable of climbing and trekking along those same locations. 

A meeting with Violet

A catwalker I spoke with claimed that Pack does the same with the ruins but I pointed out that we only get picky when it's our border. We don't shoot a person for being on the ruined soil; when they happen to be on our den's roof...ehhh different story. Perhaps I'm speaking for myself? Are other Pack members proclaiming otherwise? Considering how we treat the ruined soil as being something sacred, I would not be surprised.

The Raven Watches Me...or was that a Turkey?

So I'm curious. There's another side of me that I'm aware of, but you don't seem all that interested in "taking over" so to speak.

it's of no interest to me.

Then why do you exist?

to observe.

What?

to observe.

you don't like it when it's quiet, do you?

No I don't.

you don't need another side driving you nuts, 
but your mind gets worse when it is silent.

will you get rid of me?

Are you worried about that?

no but I do get to ask.

while I'm at it, should I ask why you always write?

It's therapeutic. Writing down what angers me and what may be bothering me that day helps me calm down.

don't you worry someone may find it?

your secrets will be used against you.

I'm well aware of that factor, but the alternative is acting out on those emotions. You know that's not a good idea. Speaking of writing, that's what Dr. Sautereau suggested the family do. Arwen and I met with her some time ago to discuss the clear wall that's creeping between us. Arwen says she wants us around more but insists on not actually being around us more. Adagio and I need to find some way to balance time at work to actually spend with the kids.

I admit I'm still confused by the girl. Why does she always ask for support then scream when you try to give it to her?

it is like a challenge, no?

How to deal with Rebels

From the moment I took on care of Arwen, I realized I'd face this one day - the dreaded teen years. I'd caught glimpses of her temper here and there, eventually noticing a pattern.

She likes to run.

Now I can't blame her for running away from problems as I did the same thing when I was young.

you were running away 

because you thought you would die.

True.

Arwen runs when the situation is so strongly against her liking that she feels the need to get as far from it as possible. She ran away from home after convincing herself that all adults were evil murderous liars.

then came back.

She was kidnapped and ran away from her birth father...but noticeably stayed away from home for some time.

then came back...

Recently  she sent some ridiculous texts which lead me to believe she was either drunk of high. I found her in the park fighting with Claire, Mitka's daughter. She seemed to not care than she and Claire reeked of weed and instead walked out on the conversation like I had done something wrong as the parent for talking to her. She even had to audacity to claim that Adagio and I were never there for her, and that she'd be better off living alone.

That night, she seemed to have come home, packed some things including the medical kit I bought, and left notes saying she would be away while. I come to find out at a party no less that she and Claire are now a couple and are in the swamps somewhere. Mitka seems fine with her daughter wandering off into the wilderness, but I'm not as lenient.

Poor Arwen my ass. I'm not stressing myself any longer over a child that begs for my help then refuses it with every fiber of her being until she conveniently wants it again. She has two parents more than willing to care for her and beyond, and she's just spitting in our faces for it. Until I hear an honest fucking apology from that girl, as far as I'm concerned, I don't know anyone named Arwen.

so what will you do?

she did call to apologize.

Highs and Lows

Last Thursday struck me as a low point. The MPD, it seemed, was low on cash. Not surprising when you think about it but their method for recouping funds was no surprise either. Okay maybe it was something of a shock.

 I was in the church praying. It had become a ritual of mine after talking to the Father about my son and everything else. I didn't notice the officer watching me until I was done. He seemed to be just a reverent, well aware he was about to arrest me in the house of the God. I sure as hell wasn't happy. i'm just glad none of the sisters or Father Anthony were there to see me.

I would learn later I was charged with falsifying WU records, manufacturing and distributing illegal drugs, kidnapping, and torture. I don't know who made a note of the change in owners' name on my hybrid registry, but the rest of it was bullocks. What was more irritating was the fact the MPD detained me. Not in a cell - I was put on display outside of City Hall. I was made to wear this god-awful orange jumpsuit and sit on display in a cage like some collection item.

 It was reminiscent of my captivity as an experiment. I didn't like to be behind bars let alone on showcase. My friends could see me. Clients could see me. My daughter could see me. Arwen had just recently gotten back after her ordeal with her father, and it turns out Adagio's gone to the mainland.As if things could not descend any lower.

The MPD held me and others hostage for bail, 5,000 credits in my case, and I was not allowed to bail myself out despite the fact I had the money. I think the MPD chief had a bone to pick with me, being the current Ashagi CEO and all. I even joked that it was some form of initiation; every CEO before me had been jailed except for Dr. Parkin I believe. Arwen managed to conjure up some funds, but in the end the lawyer I contracted for Ashagi's legal team footed the bill. Mr. Hector Mendle.

I knew I'd pay for that. Several thousand of your own funds to bail your client out was not a part of Hector's contract. The next night, I went to his office to pay him back. It turns out he didn't want money; he wanted information. On me. I could have refused. I should have refused. I'm uneasy about anyone knowing my past, even my wife. Yet I told him about my past, about Dr. Foster, and about what kind of work I had to do to make ends meet while traversing the mainland as an uncollared, unowned hybrid. He seemed to listen well and assured me he would not use that information against me. He is a lot like Adagio and myself in that regard - we all like knowing things mostly for the sake of knowing.

I honestly felt like crap most of the weekend. Ashagi Head Office was not happy about the jail time. The branch won't pay for it, but my finances will. I was working on getting a larger apartment in the city since the house was likely to come up as an assest when I get a knock on the door.

Guess who?

Reassessment of Responsibilities

For the second time, a hybrid has been named the CEO of an Ashagi branch. Of course, it's a freetown branch, not one under the scrutiny of the World Union's watchful eye.

Dr. Parkin is being transferred to the mainland to focus primarily on her genetics work and advancements, just like Dr. Nightfire was before her in regards to her cybernetics work. I'm now the CEO for the Midian City branch, answering to the board of directors in the Japan Head office. I haven't named a manager for the facility yet.

I do question my ability to be responsible however. I can't even protect my children from being stolen from me. First it was Donatien, now I've learned Arwen's school willingly handed her over to some man claiming to be her father. They assumed he was my husband, the fools. Apparently he even looked like Arwen, which added to the farce. Arwen had mentioned her father returning ,or at least someone claiming to be him had returned and asked that she come back to the mainland with him. Why did he choose to come back now after letting the girl believe he was dead? If Arwen's condition has worsened, she probably had no idea that she wasn't supposed to leave with the man. Everything around me seems to enjoy crumbling at the exact same time.

Arwen's not the only one. Adagio's gone missing as well as Khelsea. Adagio had met with Dr. Foster of all people when he stopped by the lab asking for her. It was highly against his pride to ask another scientist for help, but then again, that man cared more about results than anything. He would not disclose the case itself but insisted on the help of our currently top mind in genetics. Since he's no longer interested in hunting me, it seemed Adagio went along with it.

Perhaps I should not worry as much as I have been?

Carnival Round

After taking Dr. Santereau's advice of staying within the den rather than going home or to Ashagi as often, I've found myself comfortably back in the ritual of serving as Pack medic and juggler. I say juggler due to the fact I tend to be handling more than one thing at a given time.

There's a new plant in the ruins. I'm thinking of calling it the Ashclaw or something since it has no proper classification. An impossible flower with luminescent purple petals growing in the destroyed soil of the ruins. Granted this concerned Ayr for two reasons.

1) The last time something grew in the ruins, it took a good chunk of Pack fighting power to eradicate what is now known simply as the "pumpkins."

2) If City Hall catches wind that the land is in anyway fertile, they will drive the Pack from it. Their belief that the land is dangerous and useless to them is the only thing allowing the Pack to live freely on "undesirable soil."

I made some anesthesia-like serums from the plants. They seem to safe to consume, although I had not planned on that at first. Shiro took it upon himself to show me that - he walked in while I was showing the bottles to Ayr, grabbed one, and downed the whole thing. I made sure the idiot threw it up before he fell to any poisoning, but he seemed to recover well.

New pup Kestal learned the pace of the Pack in the worst way...

Actually several previously missing in action Pack members have since returned besides Shiro. Jayde is back, as are Rico and Gage. I'm trying to seem composed considering a few of these people are the ones that helped shape me in to the person I am now.

Late night meeting over tea and coffee

I've made some progresses for Ashagi as well, namely working closely with Hector Mendle, an accomplished attorney and Blackstar agent in Midian. Currently, he's our point of contact for Oceanic Imports shipments while Ms. Xue's out, but I'm more interested in his...methods. Formerly the husband of Allura, one of our ASF agents, my initial introduction to Hector was through Lana. She and Allura had been butting heads after the man had been hired to attack some hybrid. Never learned exactly what happened however it was clear Hector was more than some white collar. Being of the mainland, he shares some typical mindsets as far as his view of hybrids. He seemed willing to tolerate Allura's accidental transformation, but in the end, perhaps not?

In less lighter news, Kairi's gone missing. Ashagi's power went out suddenly last Friday, including the backup generator; oh and Adagio's been repaired. Lovely. Can you see me juggling or should I balance myself on a giant ball while I'm at it? 

Do actions justify the means?

I've never known anger like this before. Such deep betrayal.

I've been betrayed before, don't get me wrong; I just didn't expect it here for some reason. On the mainland, a hybrid cannot trust a human or anyone else. To try and distinguish ally and enemy is impossible. An uncollared hybrid was asking to be a slave or a pet. An opinionated hybrid was asking for death.

I'd manage to evade that enough to find a freetown where the humans didn't give a rat's ass about my tail or my bare neck. As long as I turned a blind eye to the fact they had just murdered someone in front of me in cold blood. So why do I feel such pain now? What's causing it?


How strange.

I half expected some part of myself to answer back.
I haven't heard anything for days. I'm not used to the silence to be honest; it makes me nervous. All this time, I've been dying to have the voices silenced and when they actually were - I want them back. It was the only thing that calmed me when I was by myself on a lonely street. Now I can hear how silent it truly is...and my ears hurt.

I feel pain because of the person who betrayed me. My own wife. Perhaps it is better to call her Adagio model no.3...or was it no.4? Adagio's died and returned so many times now I'm beginning to forget how often she's "returned from the grave." It's her fault. All of it is. The doctor was right.

Adagio asked one day to take Donatien for a walk. Given where we live, I found it weird. In truth, she wanted to take him to a gallery on the mainland; they had some artwork from a person she respected. Adagio had been obsessed with starting and expanding Donatien's horizons as early as possible and bringing him to a new environment made sense. How foolish of me. I should have gone with them, but I had to work.

Several days past. I don't hear anything from my wife.
I called. I texted. I panicked.

Adagio was later delivered to the lab in pieces, some melted, others charred and blasted beyond repair. She was conscious but so far damaged that she couldn't even manage speech. It took a prototype cybernetic brain for her to finally explain that she had been struck by a grenade during an attack. Oh and she'd let the attackers kidnap our son. Sorry.

That's right. Adagio's response to our child's kidnapping - the one we poured more hopes, dreams, sweat, and the best of both of our beings into- was, "Sorry."

I went mad, screaming for Donatien to return for several hours in the ruins. not that he could hear or understand the sounds of a panther at any rate. My voice was raspy for days after that. Everything in my mind scattered. It was void of thought and emotions, anything not having to do with finding my child. Days past but no ransom call was made. No demands. I thought someone was after my family as a whole. I was attacked. Adagio and Donatien were attacked. Arwen was save at home for the moment, but how long before these nuts took her as well?

We return

I'm back it seems.
Issue is I don't know where I went.

Indeed.

Did your voice change? It sounds softer for some reason.

N-No. I'm confused.

That makes three of us.

You've got to be kidding me. There's more voices in my head than before. Whatever Foster did to me, it's made me worse.

What are you bitchin' about?!

I've been here the whole time.

Excuse me...

Go away!

You go away.

E-Excuse me...

WHAT?!                                                          WHAT?

Recollection

Begin recording...

The woman awakes.

Her surroundings are unfamiliar.

No. There's a scent. A smell that is not new to her, but old. Very old. It has the horrid displeasure of being neither comforting or scary. It is just known.

"How's your head?"

A gentle voice is addressing her.

Her false mismatched eyes moved to rest on a male.
An older gentleman of pale ragged skin was beside her
with a warm smile across his lips.
He sets a tray down on the side table, 

contents of steaming hot tea from the look of it.

She knows this face, doesn't she? So why is she not happy to see it?

"Doctor...F-Foster?"

"Yes. You collapsed after we arrived here. Can you handle a warm beverage right now?"

The man was gentle in his speech, saying everything in a slow pace for her mind to grasp.
He removed his coat, tossing it to a nearby chair.

Sitting up once her strength was gathered,
the woman makes note of her surroundings.

She's in a large room filled with artwork and unremarkable furnishings.

It is not the place she was before.

"Where am I?"

"We are at my apartment. For the time anyway. You gave me quite a scare when you collapsed, little fox."

She takes the cup of tea,

sipping slowly so as to not burn her tongue.

Slowly it returns to her. She'd been taken.
Escorted away after the doctor had attacked another hybrid.

"I'm sorry. I'm not sure what came over me."

"It's alright."

The man gives her a light kiss on her forehead before returning to his seat upon the wooden floor.

"So 609, I must ask. Why did you leave me?"

Loyalty

When do you begin to question those you follow?
Is it when they do something you view as wrong?
Is it when they say something that offends you?
Is it both?

I find myself wondering that at the end of the day. Ayr changed. He changed in a way none of us have seen him do before. A common thing for him to say was that he was far from nice or kind and I think a fragment of that other side was revealed.

It was a request. The Pack was to gather people and bring them to the circle he had made. I'd spent a good portion of the day chasing down another hybrid who had attacked one of our employees. Lana had been pursuing the rat hybrid the most, but that day I was available. All the nights of roaming the sewers paid off in a way and yet they didn't. It took us forever to track him and after all was said and done, we ended up taking a different rat hybrid altogether. That and we were covered in Midian's thick filth.

Thank god for Ashagi's sanitation procedures. The lab had to be scrubbed down several times just to clean the muck we tracked in. I left right after this upon getting a message from Ayr that the ritual was starting.

With eyes wide open

This weekend brought a lot of things to the light. I happened upon Ayr one evening having a smoke behind the den. The man was scarred as always, some old, some new, but that's not what made me stop. It was rare enough for him to have his mask up, but most of all, a lot of the bindings he was usually covered in to hide his skin were missing.

I'd seen Ayr without his mask only once and the image of that single blue eye amidst several black cloths still bore deeply in my mind. However since a year or so after that had passed, it would seem Ayr's lightened his dark impression of himself somewhat. He even spoke with more of his normal Scottish accent when the mask was up. Compared to the more restrained tone he took with the mask fully on, it was an interesting talk.

You wanted to chuckle...

No.

Oh you so~ wanted to chuckle.

Hush. I could understand him just as Brekka could. We had a long talk, the three of us, about the leadership of the Pack. The two of them seemed worried that the trials had somehow pitted me and Brekka against each other, but I never saw it that way. In the end, it was determined that we'd be Betas together in the same way Angela and Ayr were Alphas, watching each other's backs and keeping the Pack together.

As comforting as this was, internally I felt isolated and scared. I was close to my due date. I could feel the baby slowing in activity, just like before. But I never said a word to anyone about my worries or at least not the full extent of it. I didn't know if my body would wait until the last minute to rob me of my baby or if God would smile on me just this once.That's when he called...

Collapse is eminent

He found me.

After running for more than a decade, Dr. Foster found me sitting alone on a bench late one night. He looks different now, much darker hair and demeanor and very pale skin. He looked tired.

I couldn't move when I heard his voice. Despite all the mental preparation I'd put myself through, thinking I could  keep my senses about me, I was weak. Just as I had been at the facility, I couldn't move. I obeyed his orders despite consciously wanting to run for my life. After all this, that man still had control over me.

I managed to get away from him thanks to Mitka and Ashley, but the scare was enough to strike me to my core. He was willing to put a knife to my neck, even after seeing my stomach. Dr. Foster had been ruthless at the facility and it seemed now that unyielding bastard's attitude had simmered into condensed malignance. If I wanted to deliver my baby in safety, I needed protection. I couldn't ask the Pack to do that as I refused to have family take a bullet or worse for me, so Adagio made arrangements with Blackstar Mercenaries.

As if that was not troubling enough it appears Adagio made the news, or rather an incident she was involved in made the news. She claimed that she was on her way to meet a coworker Amrin, only to see what appeared to be a kidnapping by Belfry staff. I only have Adagio's word for this, but what I do know is that a gunfight ensued and she was injured. Comments made during the fight were later repeated to reporters along with rumors Ashagi or Adagio and I were broke and that I was a cheating spouse. I'd really love to know why Belfry is suddenly picking a fight with us.

Gone in a flash

The ruins have been returned to us, not necessarily intact mind you. It was to be expected the second the UAC claimed the bomb drop was an "accident." That didn't mean the Pack was cleared to move back in. It seems the ruins were also angered by this shift.

We'd always honor the land we lived one with respect and the occasional offering because as Ayr said, the ruins and the spirits amongst the rumble were watching. It was only fitting to pay respects to them for the right to rest upon their soil. That night however the soil fought back. The den has always been housed over a hot spring; it where we get our fresh water. In the midst of the construction, the hot spot exploded in a field of hot ash and grimy oil, taking the Den with it.

Just like that, the Pack's home was up and gone. We had to build a new one. On the same spot? of course. We had nowhere else to go. I'm sure someone will find it strange that the Director of a multi-billion dollar company is so fond of living in a large cave, but it's because for the first time in a long time, that dark cave accepted me. That was my home long before I had an apartment or a house. That's where my family was and still will be.

My wilder side has shown itself not just with the loss of the den, but with all the turmoil boiling down at Ashagi. Lana, Dr. Parkin's lover and fiancé, seemed to forget that she was hired to be a researcher and a bodyguard to Temp. After Temp was rescued from being kidnapped, Lana was dead set on making those responsible for harming her lover pay. Kia was already in a cell after it was clear she was not herself, but did that please Lana? Nope. Adagio had aided in the rescue of Temp, but in the process caused some harm to Temp from reckless combat. Lana insisted she be fired or at least jailed for such, but in my opinion, Temp was alive right now. I'm not going to punish Adagio for something like that unless Alex, Lana, and the other ASF who were a part of the rescue are jailed as well.

Lana was not pleased with my decision and proclaimed that she would go to a "higher authority." I wonder if anyone told her that when Temp is out, I am the highest it's going to get as far as company chain of command goes. Ironically after this lecture about actions which should warrant discipline, Lana went to the lab and assaulted Adagio. Now, maybe I'm off here, but attacking your superior officer IS grounds for discipline. Did I mention this was done while an applicant was waiting in the neighboring office? Still I just scolded them both and continued with work.

The problem came later when I was showing the new hire, Allura, around. Lana was still on with her snarky remarks about how incompetent the security was and such. I reminded her like I had for so many days now that she should watch her mouth. That security protects her and this lab and if she wants to blame someone for Temp being kidnapped, how about we start with the soul paid to watch Temp? Now who was that again? Oh yes...her.

I was fine with letting even that nonsense slide until I told her to leave for being a disruption. She was not working; just sitting at the reception desk glaring angrily at others. When I told her she'd be out on unpaid vacation, she proclaimed she'd be spending that time with her lover...her poor, clinging to life lover. Now who in their right mind would wave a half-assed guilt card about a ill lover over the head of someone who'd seen their lover die...? Really now, was my next action of yelling for her to leave unreasonable? Was the mauling afterward also unreasonable?

She had it coming.

I don't care who she's dating.

Work when you are at work.

Don't sit around deeming who is suitable for the job they earned.

The next day, an attacker bombed the lab and let Kia out of her cell. Now there's no proof to back this but the general suspicion is that a vengeful Lana who'd been barred from the facility had stormed the place. The attacker was a built female in a armored body suit who knew exactly where to bomb to access doors and where to go to get to the lower lab. Logically one would say this is angry Lana getting revenge for her injured lover but I'd love for her to explain to said injured lover and CEO how she's paying for all those damages...

Maybe I should not have injured her? A quickly as I became mad, it was obvious she was just egging me on, though I don't think she expected a pregnant woman to be that strong. Lana is still a novice when it comes to hybrids.

Hell no!

That bitch disrespected us and had the nerve to put her hands on our mate!

Woman deserves the claw marks now etched in her cheeks.

She needs to learn that the world ain't her damn enemy.

Still my judgement was around the area of murder, and that's just for striking Adagio. What about the rude comments? The overstepping of bounds? I scared my daughter for Chirst's sake.

How many times did you warn Lana that she was pushing it hmm?

Several times. Over several days.

And did she listen once?

Well no...

Alright then.

I sure as hell ain't apologizing for beating a full of it employee.

Just because Dr. Parkin is her lover does not give her voice over me or the other top employees.

Moving Forward

Exactly as the title says, I'm moving on this week. I finally settled down and had another doctor check up on the baby. Dr. Svodoba was nice enough to do so. She's always been a great help to me and my family, and is one of the few people I think can be trustworthy. Despite her being a Judge, despite whatever hangups she has concerning Ashagi, she knows when to put that aside for the sake of caring for her patients. It's that kind of thought that I want to emulate and instill in Mitka and any other medic under my wing.

Sister D played a hand in calming me further when she gave a few words of wisdom. I explained my anxieties about the baby and possibly losing it. She suggested my fears are likely just an issue of trust. I don't trust my body's ability to carry a healthy child after losing the last child to it. Part of me even questioned my faith. Was it wrong for me to be happy for the miracles around me? For Adagio and this impossible little boy I'm carrying?

You still on about that?!

No. I should be happy. My parents would want me to be happy if they could see me now. I need to start believing that.

Damn right.

Finally, you're getting it.

Being happy ain't a freakin' sin.

With the UAC keeping everyone out during the cleanup, the Pack's more or less homeless. I move some supplies out during the evacuation, but nowhere near enough for all of us. 

I had a lovely beach home I could fly and relax at, but not so for my beloved family. 

Some tarp and various old cloth; a few small firearms and one box of ammo; some small crates of medicine and supplies; and a crate of useful worn tools were all I managed to hoard and hide in the beaches just under the bridge near Apoc.

Kayko did some scouting at my request and found an abandoned shack on a half sunken barge. I'm usually in the swamps a lot growing or harvesting medicinal plants, but I noticed the rundown shack and other rubbish out there. I'd never investigated them however as the need was not there.

Kayko, Jiea, and I carried the crates over once they were dug up to the new place. It was a mostly quiet transport until we found a couple there. Apparently tending to wounds after they were attacked. Kayko and the others seem poised to kill them, but given that we don't know who or what's out there, I didn't want to make enemies for now reason. Nish and Jia-Li were the names given, and I learned from Jia-Li that they had run into a large wolf and possibly Dregs that attacked them.

The Pack Shack

While the aspect of having to share the limited resources of the untainted swamps with the Dregs bothered me enough, there was more. Jia-Li and Nish had run into Adagio when they were attacked. From the sounds of it she was harmed as well, but told them to leave while she stayed behind. I have no idea what she was doing in the swamps nor why she would stay behind after being injured, but we found no sign of her. Just as I turn a leaf to relax and trust things a bit more, this happens and I question life all over again.

Please adjust your settings

There's been many changes, some expected, some not. I've found that in my long absence, the pack as grown quite a bit. New faces are to be found and new scents are to be learned. It's been no issue yet, but the medical supplies are gradually dwindling with the loss of my job at the medical center. In some ways it's a good thing; brings us back to our roots.

Shiro learned this in an interesting way.

He had just recently spooked me away from my research on the roof of the den and was in the middle of a lecture about being on our toes. Very relevant considering the recent mess with the Judges bothering us. The teacher soon became the student when Max, a new pup, startled Shiro off the roof and two storeys down to the rocks below.

Dude's a hardy man. Big deal.

I didn't know he had metal plating until that point; I was worried the Alpha might be dead!

He was a good sport about it though, and eventually walked off the damage. Adjusting to another Alpha while Ayr was away is new to me. Last time Shiro was in charge, it was something of a forced takeover while Ayr was missing. This time, Ayr had truly left his brother in charge. That was enough for me not to question it, but I'd be lying if I said I harbored no hangups about it at all. I'm ashamed to say I DO hold grunges, even after the problem's been dealt with; it's hard to bow to the same leader that once broke several of your ribs and left you almost dead.

Dead Leaves, New Roots

I was called away suddenly on business. I can't and won't detail the circumstances, but the adventure had me stuck away from home for more than two weeks. In that time, oh how so much can change.

All that's left of my wife is a frizzled hologram projected from her mind..

Somewhere in my absence, several Ashagi employees from our branch had been attacked, Adagio included. But she wasn't just attacked..oh no..whatever harmed her left no body. Just a head, left for dead to wither away. If not for the fact Adagio had done those tests on herself to alter her brain, I swear I'd be a pregnant widow. I feel like that now to be honest.

I felt like I'd lost her all over again, an immediate repeat of the first time Adagio died. We weren't even married yet when that happened, and it took a great deal of faith just to believe that her new clone was in fact the likeness of my dead lover.

That fear never left.

Now there's talk of a fully cybernetic body.

What now? Do I kiss a tin can every morning? I can't cook for her, work out with her - all of that's gone. God, can I even hug her again without being reminded that this is my wife's second resurrection?!

Arwen took this better than me, likely because she was the one that let slip Adagio's being injured in the first place. I am ashamed to say that I'm more upset with Adagio for this than anything else she'd done. Stupid of me yeah? Blaming my injured wife for being half dead. Lana, Temp, and the others had time to prepare also, seeing as this happened several days ago; witnessing their nearly dead coworker's projection was a little easier than seeing her wife's reaction.

Nothing changes

This past weekend was most unusual and oddly centered around the same general location. The former grounds of the community center. As with all things, the good eventually came to a halt, right?

I finally got myself a membership with SWEAT, the resident spa joint in Midian. All Ashagi employees were given this benefit through means only Dr. Parkin knows, but I learned rather quickly that the spa was an active place. Midian's elite can to rest, get pampered, and soak in the place's vast tub. I suppose now I fall into that category too.

Na'aik, one of the employees

I met Ashley there, Mitka's ex-wife. We got to talking and eventually settled on the topic of relationships and the value of memories. I learned that while she doesn't hold any bitterness towards Mitka, she still preferred not to get involved with her or her extended family. She seemed pretty interested in my family though, mainly the wellness of Adagio, Arwen, and the baby. The baby by the way that seems to have an itching for weird seafood a little too often...

How much can that brat eat?!

You know?! It's like I've been converted into a disposal. I've had several forms of fillet, fried to baked; roasted alligator; questionable shrimp cocktails on the mainland, and I've lost count by now. Ashley's questions may stem from the fact that she knows how long Adagio and I have been trying to have a child. Granted the methods are not smiled upon by some, but I view it as a risk and a blessing. Worst case, my body rejects the child and possibly kills us both. Best case, I deliver a healthy baby boy.

The Seeds have been Sown

The week started with a loss. A young hybrid called Gina became the first victim of the virus' assault. She passed on at exactly 11 PM, April 25th. She'd been brave until the end, but I did not want to see a similar fate for anyone else, including myself. After much work and long nights, Dr. Parkin, myself, and others developed a cure that would permanently stop the virus from spreading.

There were some moments of cabin fever to tend to in the days leading up to the cure's development. Patients in the MCMC were slowly going mad, namely Mitka and a young kitsune hybrid named Adam. Mitka actually had to be restrained after she killed two male staff members and even tried to eat Echo. Claire equally had been biting any nurse that tried to treat her. The stress was showing in staff too. Dr. Weymss pretty much told Mitka off after she pleaded for someone to help Claire only to demand that it be me and no one else.

The kitsune was just lashing out at everyone I think. It was the night I started mass production of the cure remedy at the lab. The trial batch had worked fine on Adagio, Violet, and Arwen so they had been released. While the vaccine was being bottled, I ventured over to the MCMC to check on the other patients in quarantine. Even though I told him several times that the cure was literally being made as we spoke, he made threats that he needed to be let out no later than the following day or he'd kill someone. The nurse pissed him off. Mitka pissed him off. I pissed him off. Just too much testosterone I think....

I took it better than I thought.
Lately, things have been quiet. Sure externally I'd get into some bickering with Adagio or one of the other patients that were starting to go a little mad. Other than that though, my mind has been...quieter.

I think it's Adagio's doing. We've been conversing more and more without the use of physical communication and at one point, she gave me a seed of sorts. She didn't really explain what it was, but insisted that I had to take the first step on my own and allow the seed to grow. The voices are still there, but I can hear myself think for once in a long time.

Plagues

I take back what I said about being in heat. It suddenly became an excellent mistake to have. You see, I have a peculiar wife with an equally curious talent - her ability to enter another's mind. It seems this can work in reverse was well when she absorbs the emotions others emit.

Place her next to an overly horny hybrid and watch the fireworks.

....do shut up. With Adagio just as agitated as I am, it's helped me calm down. I noticed that a lot lately. If there is someone has bothered or more bothered over a situation than I am, I suddenly feel very level.

The condition has become an illness.

Speaking of illness, a fuck up of a developmental virus has caused a bit of a mess for the past week or so. Maybe it's a punishment from God but the virus has since survived in ways we did not anticipate. It's smart. It's fast moving, spreading from soul to soul. And now...it's jumped species.

Feral Management

I don't like being in heat.
Really...why did Dr. Foster and the other scientists merge me with cat DNA?
If I catch myself suddenly howling again, I'll....

Hehehe

Ya know...
this would all go much smoother if you got pregnant.

Ah yes but you know that already, don't you?

Taunting me helps the situation how?

Yes, I know the symptoms will go away once I'm pregnant, but it's like my body's become impatient. Stupid little things trigger wild temperaments and irrational thoughts. I get upset when I catch anyone else's scent on Adagio for crap's sake. It's not just a mild jealousy either, but an outright desire to remove it and the person dumb enough to touch her.

What's wrong with that?

Protect your mate.

My mate works as a liason. She meets and interacts with several people daily as part of her job. Nothing romantic behind it. I have no reason to be jealous.

...or is it?

Shut up. I'm starting to notice traces of this irrational thought in my daily actions. The other night I went to the mainland with Adagio to meet a new hire to the ASF as well as watch them spar. I know, violent mindset and I go to watch someone else fight with my wife? That make any sense?

The fight went well. Leliana is no pushover to combat. In fact, I'd say she's a little too good. Either that or Adagio's starting to lack in her fighting skills. The spar came to a close when Adagio's ankle gave out.

I've known for a while now that her joints were under terrible pressure, and with the way Adagio seems to be aging, her external body does not match the internal framework. Her body's insides are older than she looks for a thirty year old. It took her up to the point of injury to tell me this to my face when in truth it was nothing new. Only Dr. Parkin would know how to properly treat her.

I found myself being angry at Leliana, though I didn't show most of it while tending to Adagio that night. Injuries may happen in a spar; it's better they be inflicted in a friendly match than out on the field where an opponent might not be so remorseful. At least I have an outlet for all this anger.

Reading keeps me calm. Between the library and Ashagi's vast range of writings and files on internal scientific progress, I'm perfectly occupied. Of course in a city like this, one won't find much quiet time for leisure reading. I still have a daughter to protect.

Emotions on a sleeve

There's been so much going on that I nearly neglected this journal. I'll start with the good - the Ashagi Security Forces along with others were able to locate and save Dr. Lani Weymss. She did not escape without a fight however. Several returned with minor or major injured from bullet wounds.

She nearly didn't make it.

Another achievement to be proud of was the start of the medical classes in the Pack. Lately, I realized that the medics charged with aiding the injured more than often ended up being the ones in need of medical help. So I figured it was time to teach the pack family how to take care of minor injuries themselves.

Lesson one: Basic Booboos!

There was quite a turnout for the first lesson.

I explained the ins and outs of treating GSWs and knife slashes, as well as answered some questions the attendants had. Curiously Ayr was just as attentive as the other medic trainees. Not sure if he was into medicine or just wanted knowledge to boost his ability to protect the family, but I was glad to have him there.

A rare good couple of days.

Isn't it funny how before we used to avoid the den at times?

Now it puts us at ease for a while.

I prefer it that way. Not like things are better at home. I feel at times like I'm married to two different people - The kinder Adagio that sits down and talks to me as well as the other Adagio I still know little about. Over the course of this week I believe I met both.

To be a bystander

It's an agravating thing when you end up watching from the side lines, having to trust your self in someone else's hands. Life does not have a set path, and in a flash it can be forever changed.

Ain't that the damn truth?

Everyone was off to pay their respects to the dead king and queen of the short lived Midian monarchy. I had better things to do. With my jobs at both the MCMC and Ashagi, I hardly got a minute to myself, much less for anyone else. In a rare quiet instant, I ran into Mitka and Iellwen around the corner of the Midian Dark Times building. Mitka had just given birth to her first child, a premature but healthy girl named Claire.

Suddenly, we were flown in different directions as  explosives hidden inside the mailboxes nearby went off. I still can't remember anything up to that point. In my memories, there's a dream of a vast never-ending field. I felt both calmness and fear here. But I was not alone and this was not a dream.

It was Adagio's doing if you can believe that. She didn't explain much, only that she had entered my mind in the hopes of relaxing me during surgery.

You married the telepath...don't look at me.

I couldn't recall why I was so scared. Seeing Adagio when I thought my life was over should have helped, not hurt.

No, you know why.

...yeah, I suppose I do. I was terrified that my physical self was in such bad shape that my wife had to use her powers as the only means of calming me. That meant whatever was wrong could not be treated with medicine. I was scared that this might be the only way I'd ever see my wife again...and I became horrified by it. Luckily, Adagio was not willing to give up on me as much as my own mind was.

 

I remember being chained or attacked my chains, like my own mind refused to accept being at ease for once. Was it that messed up?

We fear uncertainty. We don't know how to relax.

Pitch

Midian City is now victim to a hostage situation - an entire city cut off from its lifelines by a sick and twisted man in the wake of the King's unfortunate passing. I'm sure Forge likely assassinated the man himself, but all that remains now is that I need to do my part to make sure my family's safe.

If you could find said family...

Speaking of which, when I woke up in Levi, Adagio was nowhere to be found. We had left Arwen sleeping in Midian so we could have a little time to ourselves before heading back. But of course, when I woke up that morning, heading back was a bit more difficult that I thought. I managed to get back into the city on a favor and a good word from my wife, but leaving again was not possible. First thing I did was check work, in search of Adagio still. There was no sign of her.

Most of Midian was in hysterics, not knowing where they were going to get food from once supplies were docked. Sari-Mart, the restaurants, even the MCMC were taking precautionary measures to keep looters at bay before the riots even started. 

I was sure Arwen woke up terrified and I wanted to make sure she knew where I was. I figured she'd head to the Den for safety, but according to Lily, she had been wandering Midian in search of Adagio and myself. If Adagio had made it back to Midian, why wasn't she with Arwen? What kind of mothers were we?!

I finally returned to the apartment after failing to locate either of them, three hours of searching with nothing to show for it. I just wanted to rest my body a little. Turns out Adagio had been back to the apartment. She left a letter explaining that as soon as the blackout hit, Lithia sent her out to the mainland to seek help from the other Ashagi branches. She warned that there would be some dirty deals made, but by now, I've come to expect that from my wife given those connections of hers. From the words however, it was clear she had not met Arwen here when she arrived either.

So where the hell was that little scared girl?

Primal Shout

I don't show my angry side often. It's always been an internal emotion, hardly admitted around others. Even rarer is my natural instinct. It remained an even more suppressed sensation than showing rage.

I constantly remind myself I was born human, that these growls and insatiable desires are nothing more than something to be contained. They aren't there, I tell myself.

A human does not make sounds like that.
A human does not track scents like this.
A human does not give in to beastly thoughts of marking their mate.

You haven't marked Adagio yet actually.

She trusts your enough to share her journal with you.

You will be bearing young with her too.

Why the hell haven't you marked her yet?

Don't even start.
Today I learned how free I could feel interacting with another panther hybrid. I've always felt these thoughts and known what certain signals and scents translated to regarding the animal my DNA was merged with. I'm fluent in the dialect of that species and can easily converse with like-bred hybrids, even the actual big cat.

It started yesterday. I agreed to meet Adagio for a meal at Madre's. Both of us had been working long hours and it had been agonizing not being able to hug or kiss her while at work. Adagio's been rehired as a lab assistant in Ashagi a.k.a. my wife's now my subordinate. We had not even gotten a chance to order when my phone went off.

Yvonne, a new female fox hybrid, had suddenly collapsed. It was a difficult thing for me to tell Adagio I had to go to the den, but I knew the other medics were either injured, away, or still in training. If it was something serious, Yvonne needed professional aid. Just as I kissed Adagio good bye, Rico sends a disrespectful message over the Pack feeds, annoyed that no one "cared" that Yvonne needed help.

I snapped and stormed for the Den. After giving him a good cursing out, Mitka and I tended to Yvonne. A flu bug, easily treated with herbs and rest. That's all. That should have settled it. Another family member saved. Leaving Adagio abruptly was not for nothing, and better yet, I was able to get home a few hours later to save dinner from my wife's...capable hands.

Problem solved...right?

Test of Faith

What a weekend. Between two company meetings, a wedding, and a unheard of gathering on the Den's roof, I believe I'm forever changed.

It started with Mitka's wedding to wife Ashley.

Syle's daughter, like most of the younglings in Midian, has grown up so fast...literally. She's now 18 and expecting her first child. A girl she insists will be named Claire. Mitka asked me to be her Maid of Honor for the wedding ceremony, and I couldn't be happier.

Just as with my wedding, The Pack came out in gorgeous formal dress for the ceremony in the theatre.

A short and sweet exchange of vows proceeded then we moved to the Twilight Zone club for the reception. Along the way, I thought about all the weddings being planned or those that had been. Mostly same sex, both female couples with not one ceremony held within the church's walls. The restriction's forced a lot of people to get creative within the city.

I wish them all the best in their future.

I've always been faithful to the Word of the Lord. I've always known that there are other things that God alone could not explain. That's what being a part of the Pack opened my eyes to.

I've seen and been a part of love I doubt I'd be able to explain. I've gained a new found confidence in my work. I've become very emotionally tied to the people and creatures of the Pack family. I may have my own business with working in the city, but my roots and ideals always lead back to the ruins that chose to take me in first.

It's never a strange thought to believe that there are greater things in the remnants of the ruins, and Ayr is amongst one the most finely tuned to them. He's always said things like how we should announce and give a howl of rejoice when a new member joined our family; or listen to the land in times of distress or calm for counsel. That's what this was - Counsel.